Biding your time

Have you ever been in a relationship where you knew it was going to end? There was no absolute time/date set, you just knew it would happen. How do you deal with such a thing? Do you radiate malice to its end? Our how about just hostility to the other? What if there was no reason for it ending other than you just need a change? The other person is not necessarily a bad person, they just don’t seem to suit you any more.

How do you let them know? Do you really try to work it out but deep down you know they aren’t going to change and all the things, little and big, have finally added up to something that you really don’t want to work with at all.

Should you just one say, pack up while they were out and leave a note? Is that really cowardly? Or simply the cleanest way to break the tie.

Does the other even deserve anything more than a goodbye note?

None of theses question can even be answered by any of you. There is more to any given situation than outsiders really know and the only answer that matters is the one I give it.


6 thoughts on “Biding your time

  1. You already seem to have the answer- it’s only what you know that counts, and what will give you the solution in the end. I’ve been in that exact space and I realise it only now, after I’m out of it. You have the advantage of knowing, so you can see it to it’s end without it being a surprise. Good luck. No, no one ever said it’d be easy, but as C.S. Lewis said, ‘there are far, far better things ahead, than any we leave behind.’

    • The why I have never been afraid of. I am aware enough of my own circumstances to understand. The only thing that is constant in life is change. If two people cannot change together, which is ok, then another change must be made. If people choose to ignore this simple fact, they wallow in ignorance. A simple look at divorce rates speak volumes to this. Current divorce rates in places countries like the US and the UK hover around the 50% mark. Not a statistic that should be ignored and yet those who consider getting out or wanting a change never see this fact. This is part of who we are as a species. We are waking up to the concept that we made a decision based on what we ‘thought’ was a good idea at the time but failed to consider things long term. Now that single reason to get married has run it’s course and a change is necessary. Yet so many are afraid of that change, for various reasons.

      The why to the ending of a relationship is easy. The decision to make the necessary change for your soul to grow is what people fail to get. They’ll want to stick with the reasons why so much that they fail to look at the reasons why-not and get caught up in all kinds of mental drama.

      • one term that is used now is differentiation – “the passionate marriage, fear of intimacy” describe it as the ability to not depend upon others for your self-worth, of course you knew I would simplify it 🙂

      • “Never take anything personally.” If someone can life you up then someone can drag you down but in reality, it’s always been you who does the uplifting and dragging down.

        And how would I know you would simplify it? While you are obviously entitled to your own perspective, this equally applies to others. So, if mine does not jive with yours, so be it. If I thought there was an idea out there (yours or otherwise) that I thought would enhance my own understanding of life, I would certainly absorb it into my own collective wisdom. Thus I try to do the same for others 🙂

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