Its amazing how withdrawn I’ve been. Its like the quiet before the storm. I have gotten so far behind in other bloggers and, despite having a day utterly to myself, with zero things scheduled, I find that I don’t have any motivation to do much of anything.
Oh I’ve taken my shower, eaten, swept and cleaned my place, did the dishes but not even my normal distractions aren’t working. It is like when you realize that you don’t know how to relax despite knowing how to relax. Yes, a paradox. I just wish I could find a comfortable place to sit/drape myself over to do nothing on.
So I apologize to those that I follow for being quiet these last few weeks. I suspect this is all related to my current point in life and the things I’m about to do. This break is much needed indeed.
I have been going through so much in the last little while, hence why I’ve been quite the silent person of late.
I’m still a bit reserved about some of the details but i can say this….it will be a much needed break. I remember years ago I would go on this long drive, meet some friends and camp on this private land for a week. First rule, “Watch comes off at the gate.” It was a good rule. Times have changed but if this break was to camp, I would welcome turning off any tech because after a week in the wilds, I was quite recharged. I seemed to always come home with this perma-smile that lasted two weeks at least. I gained an insane amount of perspective on life and looked forward to the next year again.
I realized that what I’m about to do is the same. It is just time to be me. No limits. No significant concerns. Just me being me. A “getting away from it all” deal. Maybe ask my ranting had been due to not having any real “me time”. Maybe not. That is a big part of why I’m doing this. I need to know something. Something about me. How this will be done….not sure yet. Oh I got some ideas but I’m working hard not to force my future into a particular box. I want this to flow as it should, not as I wish it. I need to “ride the Dragon”, to borrow a phrase. I’m going to give up control so that I may have a clear vision of the path before me.
In doing so, I consider this a ritual of sorts and a ritual has certain requirements to be done. This event in my life had been marked in a way I will never forget. There have been so many things that has happened to make this possible that I’m nearly stunned at how easy it has been to set up. The insane amount of good fortune is awe inspiring. Theses are the things you need to pay attention to in order to realize that you are exactly where you should be and your desires become manifest.