….and I contemplate my life.
I’m truly at a nexus point in my life. I can literally feel zero pull/push in any direction and yet somehow I still want there to be one. Of course that just falls into the whole Universal response of “Oh, you WANT something….ok, have more WANT then!”.
I’ve never been in such a position, well not consciously, where I can just choose what direction I can go. It’s….unsettling. Like a few weeks ago, I had a weekend where I had nothing planned, which is unusual. I was feeling rather lost….like I _should_ be doing something but there was nothing (read no distractions) to keep me from being present and conscious.
The other day I started making some points about what to do in my professional life, and despite having a clear picture of where I’d like to head towards….I couldn’t think of the next step. I’m a terrible chess player so this should be no surprise to me. I have a hard time figuring out what my next move, despite knowing how each piece moves individually.
When you can choose from any possibility, it’s severely daunting.
So, I’ll sit in this quiet for awhile longer. Let my brain and soul take a rest and listen quietly to that inner-voice that will eventually be heard and guide me.