Long time no update

Ever since the return from my trip, it’s been a busy and hectic time.  I almost forgot about this blog actually.  Which is kind of funny but maybe I just didn’t need this as an outlet for the last couple of months?  In any case, let’s update things a bit shall we.

Still in the same relationship.  Circumstances dictate this for a few more months.  I have many physical things to deal with and once those are done…well, there is the whole “when” thing.  I am going through another stage of ‘shedding’.  The whole ‘getting rid of physical attachments’.  Did this once before when I moved, doing so again.

What is odd but interesting is that I pretty much know what I need for the next leg of my journey.  My partner should be the perfect compliment for the new endeavours I am about to embark on.  There are certain skills that I am keenly aware of in which I lack.  Not having someone who is even remotely close to balancing out that part of me has been a significant reason why my progress has been slow.  Either you learn new skills or you find those who can both enhance yours and be enhanced by the skills you do posses.  My current partner, I believe, gets more from me than I from them.

Still, having a purely intellectual understanding of the things you are keenly aware of does not grant immediate release of the emotions attached to the situation at all. Even the couple of potentials that I met while away may not be the answer.  Should the opportunity even come up, there will be significant discussion on what I am looking for in a relationship.  This will obviously include my own general beliefs about life.  If there is one thing that will ruin a relationship that would be having two completely different views on how the whole universe works.

I think I might give them this blog and say ‘read this.  understand this. know me.’. There is certainly a lot of me here and explains a lot of my core being.

Still, there is that nagging fear that ‘what if you don’t find that perfect significant other while you are in a foreign country trying to make a living?’.  That is an ugly and crippling thought if one were to give into it.

Regardless, I’m still moving along with my progress and have a set time for a point of significant change coming up.  Next spring will see quite a difference in my life.


4 thoughts on “Long time no update

  1. You described it perfectly when you said you felt your current partner got more from you than you did from them. I have never felt otherwise, and that is exactly what I mean to change this time around. Thanks for saying what was on my mind.

    • And every day I keep learning more about myself. Although, this may sound egotistical I do have experience to back it up, I feel a little bit sad that I may never be able find someone who can be an equal in a relationship with me. While I am hopeful by nature, I kinda would rather not way till I’m in my 60’s or 70’s to finally meet such a person. So yes, a little impatient.

      • We have to believe that we will find our equals. I know it’s usually never the case and so far I’ve had the same problem. I’m getting impatient too. If there’s physical fire, there’s an incompatibility in intellect or conversation, which doesn’t work for me. Or vice versa. Honestly, where’s the package deal and when is it arriving at my doorstep?

      • I recently met someone who could finally say something to me that not a single other person ever could. Someone who was the first person to ever have a real insight to who I am. That’s when it really hit home on what I needed. I intellectually already understood what I needed….but that experience kind of cemented it. Now, to find someone with such razor-sharp insight who can spent the rest of my life with would be pretty awesome.

        Oh look…it’s been another 3 weeks….wow, that was insanely quick. Life moves fast here. Hopefully that is what I need, time-wise at least.

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