Ever since I visiting another place, I made a connection with someone and it continues to blow my mind.
Let’s start at the beginning.
First I was at a pub, at the bar ordering some food. Then I see this head that barely made it over the top of the bar. I thought “Oh that’s interesting, I’d like to get to know them better!”. Well, god-damn if said person sat at the table of friends I was with!!! Then we just hit it off. The rest of my time there was a lot of fun. Hung out a lot with this person but because I was still involved with my ex at the time, I kept things without crossing any lines. Was I unhappy about my relationship at the time, sure. Would I be the kind of person who sneaks behind another’s back? No. That doesn’t mean I can’t flirt and enjoy another person’s company all the same.
So the following year, I went back to the same place and spent an even longer time. Between my absence, I kept in touch with some of the people there and that interesting person was one of them. When I mentioned my return, I was offered a room in their place to rent while I was staying. Sounded pretty awesome to me.
Now, I knew they had been seeing someone else, so I had no real illusions that I was planning some ulterior motive. Nope, it was just awesome to see them again, have the odd adventure when they weren’t out with their significant other(which was rare actually). Help them through some rough spots when they got into an argument but I could already tell that there was trouble brewing. It wasn’t going to last for them. Not that I could do much as I had my own relationship issues to deal with but as a friend, I did the best I could to help them get through it.
Time passed. We kept in touch. Had a very rough night once and help them through that bit of ugliness. Then, a few months ago, I made my own choice to move forward in life. that’s still an ongoing thing and I’m doing pretty good there but let’s get to the meat of this post, shall we?
I’ve read tons and tons on how life supposedly works. Seen all the faddish movies that talk about all the ‘bells and whistles’ you can do to make your life better and such. Out of everything I ever saw, read or heard, one thing just worked for me.
I was listening to a playlist for motivation, it included a bunch of different quotes and interview clips from various thought leaders on the subject. One guy said (and I’m paraphrasing here) “When you are going to have that breakthrough, it isn’t something that takes a long time. It happens at the moment when you make the decision to do something and commit to it.”
Well, going back to my situation and my ideas about this friend. I decided that I was going to work on getting back to where they are and then work on getting more serious with them.
Over the next week or two, the following things happened: Got interviewed by a company(made it to the second round but ultimately didn’t get the job), got told that I could apply to another company that was really damn close to where the other person I’m interested is, and said person also needed a person to talk to because of their relationship was going from bad to worse(as I initially knew it would).
From what I can tell, it was all from my decision to make going to the other place to essentially be with the other person, was what started this chain of events. It hasn’t stopped either. My friend has been going through a very rough time, knows that their relationship will never, ever be what she hoped it to be due to some pretty severe mental issues of their significant other. So now they are trying to come to terms that they have to make the decision to leave and get untangled from their home life. Luckily there is no marriage or kids to complicate matters but still, living together and making that leap to leave is never easy for people. I should know. Took me 10 years to realize that my own relationship was never going to be fully fulfilling, if not outright detrimental to my personal growth. I passed this tidbit of wisdom on to this person so that they won’t repeat my lack of action for so long.
So here I am, trying my best to keep things going so that when the opportunity comes, and it will come, I’ll jump right on it and ride it out.
When I take that observer perspective, I can see that it was like placing a piece of the puzzle and getting a glimpse of how the game is played!
Of course, my focus has been towards this goal and remains so. I have never met someone that I know so well but have only known them for a very short time. I simply cannot ignore that and because of the distance, it seems wasteful not to be near said person. Why else have such a bond but never truly be able to act upon it because the distance is so great? That is the meaning I am giving to this and it seems to be working for me.