Today I was totally off. Something was wrong somewhere. None of my immediate close friends were obviously having issue. I asked my FWB and they said all was fine. Could have been a cover-up but I’ll take their word for it.
Best I could do was to meditate to try and dissipate this sickening feeling I had.
Doesn’t help when I got one friend with Cancer and another who has to take morphine for back pain. Those are just as likely to be connected with my and that feeling.
The feeling died down but only just recently, before going to bed, that I noticed it was quite gone.
I was chatting with a friend, one of my few closest, trying to figure it out but got nowhere. Got some neat ideas from them, as usual.
Ok, too tired to make this any sort of real useful Post. Will try better next time.
Everyone has made them. I know I have. Mistakes can be forgiven if you are honest in your repentance. I can forgive mistakes. Take the example of that past friend who ditched me in a previous post. It was a very long time ago. I can probably forgive the mistake but not the person.
“How does that work?!” you ask?
Easy. Mistakes are forgiveable….people might not be. Just because you made a mistake means everything is all perfect like it was before. Even if this guy came back to me and said “Sorry” I’d say “Thanks, now fuck off”. That person can not be trusted any more. That unspoken word of friendship trust has been broken. Now, if it was as simple as it looks, you might tend to think I’m being harsh but there is more to the story that I’ll not bother getting into. It was the way he did it that allows me to keep in mind the following saying.
“How you do anything is how you do everything.”
You might even liken that to the “A leopard can’t change it’s spots” quote. To be honest, the energy needed to make such a friendship work again is better spent finding people who don’t have such traits. Make a clean break and start again.
Will I make mistakes in the future? Damned right I will. Will I let them stop me from learning? Never. No one ever got to the top by being right all the time and I’m going all the way baby!