A life clearing event…

No, not quite the accumulation of all previous posts.  Still working that out.  This is about unstable people.

It’s still hard for me to grasp the idea that a mature adult, with multiple kids, significant life experience, still can’t have an adult conversation when something happens.

Today, I have lost a friend(s).  Sadly one half of that group has zero issues with me, understands me and knows me on a more real level.  It’s the significant other half that has some sort of past issues that can’t be bothered to deal with it.  An event they never, ever dealt with and now takes it out on others without a single, mature thought about it.

So to those types of people, fuck you.  I got better things to do with my life rather than even considering trying to solve such a situation.  You talk a good game but it seems that it was all fake and our friendship meant nothing to you to begin with.  Fine by me.  I’ll move on as I don’t have those issues.  Not interested in dragging it out.  OH I’ll vent here, get it out but that’s part of the whole ‘letting go’ process.

Too bad about your kids though.  You’ve already showed them how not to do things and this….this will only add to more spiritual damage.  A lack of perspective that they could have otherwise learned and grown from.  I feel for those kids but that’s their lives.

So, best of luck in the future and try not to wonder too hard why you have so many issues when you have such a poor outlook on life.



What amazes me is how people have such a short view on life.  They actually believe that if they do something now they could just walk away with zero repercussions.  I’ve seen it time and time again.  There are always repercussions. Always.  Most of the time they do happen in your lifetime but the bigger ones, the ones with a more significant connection to your soul, will come back again and again, through various lifetimes until the issue is resolved.

You think people choose their situations?  Well yes, I’ve covered this before.  Yet those who are still asleep in this waking world will say “You wear glasses because you didn’t eat your veggies!” or “You sat to close to the TV when you were young.” or any other non-sense.  Truth is, those are only symptoms of a much deeper problem.  You are in the body you have because there is a lesson to learn. You experience pain and loss because there is a lesson to learn.

There are those who actually believe they don’t deserve better for themselves and yet it will be thrown right into their faces saying “Yes you do.”  Keep in mind that there are two sides there.  The person who refuses to rid themselves of some sort of misguided guilt and the person who strives to show that person their true value in life.  Both have lessons to learn.

The goal in life is to be aware of these lessons and act upon them that is truly in your best interest.  When you run away from the lesson, it will come back, stronger each time.  It really is inevitable that you will learn the lesson, so why not get it over with and move forward in your spiritual/personal development now?!  Prolonging your pain is hardly a smart thing to do, nor is it good for you and everyone around you.

I know my own issues are leaking into my daily life.  My friends see it all the time.  I can’t hide it any more.  Changes will be made.  Very, very soon. I am just waiting to see what it is I need to learn so I can unpause my life and get on with it!

Being alone

I believe that our ultimate destination is to not be alone. So essentially we are built to be with others. Keep in mind that there are levels that I always talk on. The ‘ultimate’ wording means spiritually in this sense. I believe in the end, and as cheesy as it may sound, we are all one. The path to get to that place is different for all of us.

Being alone sucks for the vast majority. That doesn’t mean there are those that want/need that experience. Indeed, there are times when everyone says “I need to be alone now”.  Some want that alone experience for much longer although typically that stems from a bad experience and not conducive to their overall spiritual growth. Then there are those who generally have chosen a fairly solitary life and are quite content with it. I believe those ones are few and far between, despite the number of people who claim this status.

For the rest of us, we struggle for acceptance. We struggle to be loved and we struggle to just fit in. Again, each of those scenarios have their own levels. I don’t bother to try an ‘fit in’. I’m not interested in going out, drinking every weekend just to get drunk. To me, that’s not ‘fitting in’. This also means I get excluded, by default of my nature, from many group events because I am labeled as ‘not fitting in’.

When someone suddenly accepts you for who you are, after years of just the opposite from your friends/family/partner, you get kinda surprised. And oddly, a bit surprised as how you are surprised(meta-learning). That’s when you realize things never need to be as bad as they are. There are those who will accept you as you are, with no reservations. You are not alone. You just need to find those who accept you and stick with them.

Fuck everyone else.

You are not on the level

There are 3 basic levels on which you can talk about for any given subject. Physical, mental, spiritual.

The first, and most obvious, is the one we know the most. This means when you are talking with someone you take everything at “face value”. Funny how our language mimics life in it’s true form huh? At this level there is only one consideration. What you see. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a duck!

The mental level gets much more interesting. This is the level where you begin to be more discerning. Things like “Wait. What’s a duck doing in my living room? Am I dreaming?” You start paying attention to details. You try to analyze things, take them apart and see what makes them tick. The vast majority of scientists and hackers reside in this realm.

Then there is the spiritual level. This can be likened to being an observer of events. Where you “step outside of your situation and look at it as if you were completely detached, or rather attached in a much grander scale. Here you can see yourself arguing with someone and take notes in how things interact. Subtle things that become blindingly obvious but get completely missed on the previous levels because they can only deal with their own levels.

The spiritual level is easily identifiable when you are in a deep conversation with someone and they say something that just stops you dead in your tracks. You are whacked in the head with a sudden sense if profound meaning. A Truth is spoken and it’s like a gong going off in your soul.

Another way is to realize that everything on any given level had a mirroring aspect on another level. For example meta-learning. This is where you learn how you learn while you are learning! It is the mental equivalent of being a spiritual observer.

On a physical level such mirroring is different but still the same in essence. Here you would use terms like macro-scale and micro-scale. The planets in our solar system rotate around our sun. Our little galaxy rotates around the Milky Way galactic core. Our atoms circle around a nucleus. These are no small coincidences.

So as a reasonably enlightened person, I would say physical, mental, spiritual. Someone who has a greater affinity for the mental might use point/vector/plane while a person devoted to religion might use father/son/holy ghost. Nicola Tesla liked to use  ‘If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy,frequency and vibration.’

Which do you use?


I want more money.

I want more vacation.

I want some peace and quiet!

No problems. There, your thoughts have been answered. Feel better?

“but i don’t have any more <insert any want>!” you say.

Of course you do. Your wish/prayer/desire has been answered exactly like you requested. Let me ask you this. When you say “I run to the store.” or “I play with my friends” what is the active verb? Run and play obviously. When you say “I want X” your active verb is want and you get exactly what you ask for….more WANT! This applies for “don’t want” equally. Your words define your reality. Words have power.

For months I have been envisioning myself with a new partner. For the longest time I pictured myself with someone who at least lived close to me. The problem with that was I had a focus that was just a little skewed to something that was not true to my soul. Believe me, I was quite creative in my envisioning but it really only amounted to a teenage desire for sex because of the particular focus of my intention. If all that it took was pure desire, then every single teen would be having sex with the prom queen/Ms <insert state name > pageant winner/any shirtless fireman from the calendar.

Your thoughts define your reality.

Now my next sentence is gonna piss you off. You asked for your situation. What does this say about your own current situation? It says exactly what you see. You asked for the exact circumstance you find yourself in. Why? Because you asked for it. Are you getting abused? You asked for it. You happy? You asked for it. You poor? You asked for it.

I’ll go into more detail about what I mean by this in another post. First, you need to take a pure and long look at how you got to where you are. Then you will see what I mean.

The answer really is simple. Stop fucking asking for it! Stop wanting for something else! Know you deserve better. Ask yourself this one question: What would my life look like if I changed it? Don’t get into the bullshit of troubles it will take to get you there, that will only mess you up. Look past that and tell yourself what you would do if you got exactly how you see it.

This is not some sort of positive thinking crap. Let me quote T Harv Eker.

So what is the difference between “power thinking” and “positive” thinking? The distinction is slight but profound. To me, people use positive thinking to pretend that everything is rosy, when they really believe that it’s not. With power thinking, we understand that everything is neutral, that nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it, and that we are going to make up a story and give something it’s meaning.

This is the difference between positive thinking and power thinking. With positive thinking, people believe that their thoughts are true. Power thinking recognizes that our thoughts are not true, but since we’re making up a story anyway, we might as well make up a story that supports us. We don’t do this because our new thoughts are “true” in an absolute sense, but because they are more useful to us and feel a heck of a lot better than nonsupportive ones.

Understand that your mind will fuck with you. When you realize this, you’ll start to live a better life.

Don’t you dare fucking say now “I want to change.” Go and do it!